Schpadoinkle

peridotpirate:

Some of the very best subtitles

pickleandharveybulldogblog:

Never sleeps totally on the bed.

pickleandharveybulldogblog:

Never sleeps totally on the bed.

hoganddice:

urulokid:

urulokid:

poutineisdelicious:

xekstrin:

majere636:

arachnofiend:

marapetsrules:

bobfoxsky:

“You fool. No man can kill me.”

How many times am I allowed to reblog this before it gets weird?

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Fun facts: Tolkien constructed this scene because he came out of Macbeth thinking that Shakespeare had missed a golden opportunity with the ”Be bloody, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn the power of man, for none of woman born shall harm Macbeth” prophecy

Being letdown by Macbeth is apparently a significant factor in Tolkien’s writing because the Ent/Huorn attack on Isengard was the result of his disappointment that the whole “til Birnam Wood come to Dunsinane” thing was just some dudes holding sticks and not actual ambulatory trees.

so he basically took his favorite shakespeare headcanons and put them into his AU fic

This revelation just knocked me over.

LET ME TELL YOU A THING ABOUT JOHN RONALD REUEL TOLKIEN. BACK THE FUCK UP SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING YOU’RE FUCKING JON SNOW HERE. LET ME TELL U A THING

JONNY T WAS LITERALLY THE BIGGEST FANBOY TO EVER WALK THE EARTH. LITERALLY THIS FUCKIN NERD WENT INTO WORLD WAR ONE AND WROTE NORSEFIC EDDA FANFIC IN THE TRENCHES AND SENT IT TO ALL HIS FRIENDS WHO WERE PRESUMABLY LIKE “JOHN WHAT THE FUCK”

BUT IT DOESN’T END THERE

HIS WIFE? MADE HER AND HIMSELF INTO SELF-INSERT OCS IN SAID FIC. ALSO MADE HIMSELF A TOTAL TYR SELF INSERT CHARACTER. ALL VERY DRAMATIC. KEPT WRITING THIS FIC UNTIL IT WAS HUGE. AFTER HE DIED HIS SON PUBLISHED IT AND CALLED IT THE SILMARILLION. JRR YOU FUCKIN NERD

WAIT I’M NOT FUCKING DONE YET. TREEBEARD? BASED THE WAY HE TALKED OF HIS OLD FRIEND JACK WHO YOU ALL MIGHT KNOW AS CS LEWIS. THAT’S RIGHT. THAT NARNIA MOTHERFUCKER. WROTE HIM INTO LORD OF THE RINGS AKA THE SEQUEL TO THE SEQUEL OF HIS ORIGINAL FANFIC MASTERPIECE. CS LEWIS FUCKING HATED LORD OF THE RINGS. TOLKIEN FUCKING HATED NARNIA. BASICALLY THEY STARTED THE OXFORD PROFESSOR LIVEJOURNAL CLUB AND THEY FLAMED EACH OTHER’S SHIT RELENTLESSLY YET REMAINED BFFS

SHELOB? FUCKING TARANTULA BIT J-TIDDY ON THE FOOT WHEN HE WAS LIKE 3. WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS.

HIS AUNT’S HOUSE? NAMED BAG END. YEAH YOU GUESSED IT WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS

THIS FUCKING DORKUS SUPREME MADE UP HIS OWN LANGUAGE. WAIT NO IM WRONG. HE MADE UP LIKE 80 LANGUAGES AND DIALECTS AND ALPHABETS AND SHIT 

BEST PART OF ALL?? HIS OWN LAST NAME, TOLKIEN, WAS DERIVED FROM THE GERMAN “TOLKHUN” MEANING “FOOLHARDY”. DOES THAT RING A BELL TO ANYONE FAMILIAR TO LORD OF THE RINGS??? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT PEREGRIN “PIPPIN” TOOK’S LIKE FUCKING CATCHPHRASE WAS “FOOL OF A TOOK”. TOLKIEN FIC’D HIS OWN FAMILIAL LINGUISTIC HISTORY INTO HIS WORK WHAT A DWEEB

IN 2008 HE RANKED 6TH ON A LIST OF THE TOP 50 BRITISH WRITERS SINCE 1945. HE WAS A PROFESSOR OF LANGUAGES AND OTHER IMPORTANT STUFFY SHIT AT OXFORD

AND JRR TOLKIEN WAS THE BIGGEST DWEEB EVER TO LIVE

THE END

THE GUY WOULD SOMETIMES GIVE HIS LECTURES ON ANGLO-SAXON ENGLISH IN FULL PERIOD ARMOUR.

HE ONLY WROTE LOTR BECAUSE PEOPLE HARASSED HIM FOR A HOBBIT SEQUEL. HE JUST WANTED TO BUILD A WORLD FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO POPULATE WITH CHARACTERS!

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS?

J.R.R. TOLKIEN WAS A FUCKING MAN OUT OF HIS TIME, THIS MAN WAS DESTINED TO DM D&D.

CAN YOU IMAGINE PLAYING TOLKIEN’S D&D CAMPAIGN?

CAN YOU?!

Seven Wonders of The world

gay8:

1. My Ass

obamafart:

zayrn:

there’s literally no point in teaching girls to be body positive if you only use men’s opinions for validation like “boys like girls with curves” nah get that the fuck out of here

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collections that are raw as fuck ➝ elie saab f/w 2014-15

officialfrenchtoast:

ninjadp:

zielloos:

trepanties:

laterinthecaveoflesbians:

greatwhiteprivilege:

people who’ve never experienced financial woes: ummmm why dont you just work 100 hours a week, sell everything you own, including your organs lol?

"McDonald’s is always hiring! :)"

"Ask for more hours!"

"Get a better job. You’re just being lazy! "

"Just go out and apply! There’s plenty of jobs out there!"

and the ultimate one:

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